Tag Archives: weight loss

Do Over!

I’m thinking one of the best parts about being a kid is the do overs. Trip up during jump rope? Do over. Miss a basket playing HORSE? Do over. Forget a number while counting? Do over. So what I want to know is, why do we stop doing do overs as adults?

So maybe there’s not an option to do over after eating an entire pizza, but why wait until Monday to get back on track? Or worse, wait until a new month begins or even a new year? “January is only three months away; I may as well just wait until then to get back on program.” (I may or may not have actually said that.)

When I’m not tracking (and sometimes when I am), I regularly get off track, for lack of a better word. But I’ve been trying to look at things day by day, meal by meal. This means I can get back on track immediately, without giving myself the excuse of “I can’t start over until tomorrow so I may as well just blow through the rest of the day.”

I saw this quote on Facebook and it really hit home:

“What you have to remember is that changing your eating habits is a process of recommitting to your goals each and every day. Anytime you lose sight of that and start focusing on what’s going wrong, you’ll take yourself away from the life you want to lead. The key to overcoming your eating problem is to remind yourself that at least you’re taking today (or this afternoon or this hour) to move toward your goal.”*

I’m nowhere near the end yet, but I have made a lot of changes that I’ve been able to stick with. But, it’s something I have to think about every day.

So for me, it’s taking things one day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time. And that’s OK because I’ll get there eventually.

* The quote is from the October 2000 O magazine, Emotional Eating: Get Your Feelings Out of the Fridge, a piece by Bob Greene. Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Emotional-Eating-Cure-for-Emotional-Eating/1#ixzz2akFlxjUd 

The Tale of Two Pedometers

I know a lot of people think pedometers are full of it, but for me, it helps to keep me going. When I look down at 11 a.m. and see only 1,000 steps, it gives me motivation to go for a walk during lunch. (True story, it happened today!) I’ve also noticed pedometer peeps are loyal to their brands. I’ve tried too many pedometers to count and always come back to the Weight Watchers pedometer. While it seems to give me a few extra steps, I’ve found it to be pretty reliable. Plus, if you accidentally drop it in the toilet (and bonus if you have a husband who will stick his hand in to get it out), it will keep working. Not that that’s happened to me or anything.

Moving on. My new job has a fantastic wellness program (more on that in another post), part of which is earning points for certain things that go toward rewards like gift cards and cash. Um, hello, up to $500 a year! That’s a pretty nice shopping trip! One of the ways to earn points is by wearing a company-provided pedometer, which you then upload your steps for points. (Their marker is 7,000 steps.) As much as I love my WW pedometer, I need the money, honey! OK so I finally got my new pedometer and wore in Sunday. That day I did Just Dance on the Wii, tons of cleaning, played outside with the kid, etc. Looked at the steps at the end of the day, fully expecting at least 10,000, and saw a grand total of 5,625. WHAT? That cannot be right. Here’s the thing I find strange about this new pedometer. There is nowhere to adjust the stride. You put in your height and weight online and it automatically calculates it for you. You cannot change it.

I was sure it wasn’t counting the steps right, but what’s a girl to do? Bring on the test, of course!

Monday I put on both my new pedometer and my trusty WW one. It was a good day for the test because I was off work and out all day, so I was going to do tons of walking around. I mean my Costco trip alone had to have been a couple thousand steps! (BTW, I have this new trick at Costco where I do one aisle on each side at a time so that I have to keep walking across the store for more steps. I’m sure the other customers find it annoying but I could give a crap; I need that movement!) So what do you think the test showed at the end of the day? Guesses? Anyone? Bueller?

Even I was surprised at this:

FotoFlexer_Photo

I know it’s a little hard to read with the light reflections, but yes, you are seeing that right. The WW pedometer showed 10,108 steps and the HealthMiles pedometer is at 6,332. I’d say a 3,776 difference in steps is pretty significant.

I’m sure the HealthMiles pedometer isn’t counting right, but it also got me thinking: maybe the WW pedometer I love so much isn’t counting the steps correctly either. On to the 100-step test. I took 100 physical steps. The WW pedometer counted 112 steps and the HealthMiles pedometer counted 37. I’ve since done that a couple more times, and every time the count changes.

This brings me to one conclusion: pedometers are ridiculous! I know two things to be true: (1) pedometers are a great way to be conscious of your activity and a great motivator to get up and move, and (2) pedometers are not a completely accurate measurement of steps taken.

Back to my real problem. I need to hit 7,000 steps a day to get my points and I have a pedometer that’s under counting. I guess I could call the company and try for a new one. But maybe the better solution is to keep this one and, excuse my lame humor, really “step it up” to get 7,000 (which is really more like 10,000). Either way, I’m moving more than before and that’s probably the more important thing. Of course, a little extra money never hurt anyone!

So We Meet Again

This post has been in my drafts for exactly one month and I haven’t published because I’m too embarrassed. Too ashamed. Too angry. Too frustrated. Too tired. And most of all, too over it. I’m not sure why I am finally publishing it. Maybe I’m just sick of it all and ready to move on. Maybe I’m hoping someone will have the magic answer for me. Maybe I just need some support. Whatever the reason, here it is.

I got on the scale this morning, saw THAT number and thought, “so, here we are again.” This is not where I want to be. Of course, I didn’t need the scale to tell me any of that. I have a mirror; I can see what I look like. I have pants; I can feel how tight they are. I can tell that I physically feel crappy. My stomach hurts. I’m more tired. My skin even has a different look.

I’ve been slowly gaining since the summer. One pound here, half a pound there. But guess what all that adds up to? Me being right where I was two years ago.

stats

I just can’t believe it. I cannot believe I am here again. Let’s be honest, there’s one word that comes to mind when we gain back our weight: FAILURE. There’s no getting around it. No blaming anyone else. It’s not the weather’s fault that it got cold out or the winter’s fault that it’s dark so early. It’s not the box of chocolate’s fault that I ate the entire thing (and two more). It’s not my dad’s fault that he brought over a cake for at least 20 people and that I ate more than half. It’s not my son’s fault that he still wakes up during the night and then very early in the morning and so I’m tired. It’s not the train’s fault that it has a schedule and so I have to leave the house early in the morning. It’s not my husband’s fault that he made a heavier meal and that I ate multiple servings. It’s not the internet’s fault that it has way too much information so that I get totally overwhelmed trying to understand every food, additive, preserve, diet, exercise, activity, etc.

Sure, there are a number of circumstances that contributed to this: depression, work situations, money troubles, etc. Frankly, I’m pretty overwhelmed with life in general. But it all comes down to one thing. It’s me. It’s my fault and mine alone. That also means there’s only one person who can fix this. Me, Myself and I.

So here I go again. I don’t have a plan. I don’t have a clue what I’m going to do.

What I do have is knowledge about everything I need to, the tools to make that happen (for the most part), and the experience to put those in place. I know I will get back on track, but that first step is a hard one. And the first step after you’ve taken that first step a million times before (or at least a dozen to be more accurate), to me, is even harder.

I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I want to put on clothes and still breathe. I want to see a picture my son drew and not think, “please don’t let me be the fat one.”

I want to be healthy. I want to be healthy. I want to be healthy.

I read an article the other day about a lady in her 60s who was a surrogate for her daughter, and the first thing I thought was, “I’d never be healthy enough to do that.” Never mind that no one has asked me to, nor do I plan on it, the point being that my health is always on my mind.

So that’s it. I’m back here and there’s nothing I can do about that. I can, however, do something about what comes next.

I’m done with this whole failure bullshit. Let’s go. It’s 4th and Goal with the game on the line. I have only one option. Win. Success. Health.

Health, Happiness and the Unexpected

Oh, hey, have ya heard about my awesome husband?

This month was our seventh wedding anniversary. We don’t usually do gifts but wouldn’t cha know it, this year he went all lovey and what not.

Can you guess what I got?

No, definitely not any of those. Flowers? I’m allergic. Chocolate? Hello? Trying to lose weight! Jewelry? Uh, no. (Although I did get a beautiful necklace/earring set for Hannukah last year.) Romance? A ha ha, that’s a good one. Rachid is many things but romantic is not one of them!

I know, I know, you are just dying to know, “Emily, WHAT did you get?” Well get ready for it, honey, cuz it’s going to knock your socks off. Well, maybe not your socks but your shoes at least. Drumroll please  . . .

[anticipation is building]

[curiousity is killing]

[OK, now you’re just getting mad]

TA DA!

Yep, new sneaks. I know, you’re like, he got her sneakers and she’s all pressed? Well, yeah, I kinda am.

First let me say that this wasn’t a “I want you to exercise so I’m buying you sneakers” gift. Rachid may have his faults but not supporting me or judging me is not among them. He has never once said anything about my weight. Not when I gained 50 pounds in our first six months together and then more after that. Not when I lost 70 pounds and then gained half back. Not when I’ve been back on Weight Watchers for 19 months and lost a grand total of 15 pounds. And definitely not when I’ve even gained back six of those pounds. (Man, this is depressing).

The sneakers actually were his way of supporting me. He can’t relate to my struggle, I mean, dude is North African. Here’s the thing about North Africans – the men are skinny and the women have a bit more weight on them. This guy is a buck 25 soaking wet and can’t gain weight if he tries. So no, he doesn’t understand why I can’t just lose the weight, but he does want to support me. The problem is there’s not much he can do, short of duct-taping my mouth shut.

When I told him I was thinking about joining a relay team for the Baltimore marathon but that I was scared I couldn’t do it, his immediate response was “of course you can, what can I do to help?” Since then I’ve been mentioning that I really needed a new pair of sneakers. We were out one day looking for shoes for our son and Rachid said he wanted to buy me new sneakers for an anniversary present. Now, the truth is that he probably would have bought them anyway but it was still super sweet and pretty funny. It’s not the gift of my dreams, but it’s something really thoughtful and something I can actually use.

So happy anniversary to us and cheers to my super, duper awesome husband! Kanbghik, habibi.